YouTubeで学ぶ英語：（17）『OCD』強迫性障害を持つ詩人、ニールさんの恋の詩

Neil Hilbornニール・ヒルボーンさんは1990年テキサス生まれの詩人です。彼の詩は、朗読することを前提に書かれたもの。「Slam poetry ：制限時間内に詩を朗読して、その内容とパフォーマンスを競う大会」というジャンルで活躍する彼の代表作は『OCD』です。OCDは、obsessive-compulsive disorder=強迫性障害・強迫神経症の略で、ニールさん自身が、ずっとOCDを抱えて暮しています。詩の朗読で繰り返される言葉や表現は、パフォーマンス上のものでもあり、時にはどうしてもやめられない症状であったりするということでした。初めて聞いたときの胸を締め付けられるような気持ちが忘れられない恋の詩、ニールさんの『Neil Hilborn – “OCD” (Rustbelt 2013)』を「Youtubeで学ぶ英語」で取り上げます。

詩の出だしは、恋の始まりです。

The first time I saw her, everything in my head went quiet.

初めて彼女を見た時、頭の中の全てのものが静まり返った

All the tics, all the constantly refreshing images, just disappeared.

チックも、常に頭の中に流れ続けるいろんなイメージも、何もかもみんな消えてしまった

＊tic （名）チック　顔面痙攣　繰り返される癖

When you have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, you don’t really get quiet moments.

強迫神経症だと、静かな瞬間なんてないんだ

Even in bed I’m thinking did I lock the door yes did I wash my hands yes did I lock the door yes did I wash my hands yes.

ベッドの中でさえ、ぼくは考え続けている　ドアの鍵は閉めたか閉めた手は洗ったか洗ったドアの鍵は閉めたか閉めた手は洗ったか洗った

But when I saw her, the only thing I could think about was the hairpin curve of her lips or the eyelash on her cheek the eyelash on her cheek the eyelash on her cheek.

でも彼女を見た時、ぼくに考えられたのは彼女のヘアピンカーブを描く唇だけそれか頬に影を落とす睫毛頬に影を落とす睫毛

＜YouTube『Neil Hilborn – “OCD” (Rustbelt 2013)』＞
https://youtu.be/vnKZ4pdSU-s

＜関連サイト＞
Neil Hilborn facebook ページ⇒　https://www.facebook.com/neilhilborn/
Neil Hilborn Twitterページ⇒　https://twitter.com/neilicorn

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※アイデアニュース有料会員（月額300円）限定部分では、英語全文のスクリプトと筆者による『OCD』の試訳が載っています。英語を自習したい方も、ニールさんの詩をもっと詳しく知りたい方も、ぜひ有料ページをご利用下さい。

＜有料会員限定部分の小見出し＞

■『Neil Hilborn – “OCD” (Rustbelt 2013)』　英語全文

■松中みどりによる試訳

YouTube「Neil Hilborn – “OCD” (Rustbelt 2013)」（https://youtu.be/vnKZ4pdSU-s）より

※ここから有料会員限定部分です。

■『Neil Hilborn – “OCD” (Rustbelt 2013)』　英語全文
The first time I saw her…
Everything in my head went quiet.
All the tics, all the constantly refreshing images just disappeared.
When you have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, you don’t really get quiet moments.
Even in bed, I’m thinking:
Did I lock the doors? Yes.
Did I wash my hands? Yes.
Did I lock the doors? Yes.
Did I wash my hands? Yes.
But when I saw her, the only thing I could think about was the hairpin curve of her lips..
Or the eyelash on her cheek
the eyelash on her cheek
the eyelash on her cheek.
I knew I had to talk to her.
I asked her out six times in thirty seconds.
She said yes after the third one, but none of them felt right, so I had to keep going.
On our first date, I spent more time organizing my meal by color than I did eating it, or fucking talking to her…
But she loved it.
She loved that I had to kiss her goodbye sixteen times or twenty-four times if it was Wednesday.
She loved that it took me forever to walk home because there are lots of cracks on our sidewalk.
When we moved in together, she said she felt safe, like no one would ever rob us because I definitely locked the door eighteen times.
I’d always watch her mouth when she talked
when she talked
when she talked
when she talked
when she talked;
when she said she loved me, her mouth would curl up at the edges.
At night, she’d lay in bed and watch me turn all the lights off.. And on, and off, and on, and off, and on, and off, and on, and off, and on, and off, and on, and off, and on, and off, and on, and off, and on, and off, and on, and off, and on, and off.
She’d close her eyes and imagine that the days and nights were passing in front of her.
Some mornings I’d start kissing her goodbye but she’d just leave cause I was
just making her late for work…
When I stopped in front of a crack in the sidewalk, she just kept walking…
When she said she loved me her mouth was a straight line.
She told me that I was taking up too much of her time.
Last week she started sleeping at her mother’s place.
She told me that she shouldn’t have let me get so attached to her; that this whole thing was a mistake, but…
How can it be a mistake that I don’t have to wash my hands after I touched her?
Love is not a mistake, and it’s killing me that she can run away from this and I just can’t.
I can’t. I can’t go out and find someone new because I always think of her.
Usually, when I obsess over things, I see germs sneaking into my skin.
I see myself crushed by an endless succession of cars…
And she was the first beautiful thing I ever got stuck on.
I want to wake up every morning thinking about the way she holds her steering wheel..
How she turns shower knobs like she’s opening a safe.
How she blows out candles
blows out candles
blows out candles
blows out candles
blows out candles
blows out…
Now, I just think about who else is kissing her.
I can’t breathe because he only kisses her once. He doesn’t care if it’s perfect!
I want her back so bad…
I leave the door unlocked.
I leave the lights on.

＊eyelash （名）睫毛　Cf. eyelashes と複数で睫毛全体を指す使い方もあります

＊crack （名）ひび、割れ目、地割れ

＊At night, she’d lay in bed and watch me turn all the lights off.. And on, and off, and on, and off, and on, and off, and on, and off, and on, and off……..
She’d close her eyes and imagine that the days and nights were passing in front of her.

強迫神経症で、ドアの鍵をかけたか何度も確かめずにいられない彼は、眠るときに灯りを消すのも、何度も何度も点けたり消したりしてしまいますが、それを、瞳を閉じている彼女が、「昼と夜が何度も目の前を通り過ぎるみたい」と表現する、とても美しい場面です。

＊When she said she loved me her mouth was a straight line.

恋の始まり、彼女のヘアピンカーブを描く唇と、長い睫毛に惹かれた彼。愛しているというとき、いつも口角が上がっていた彼女の心変わりを、唇の形で知る場面。

＊I want her back so bad…　I leave the door unlocked.　I leave the lights on.