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YouTubeで学ぶ英語(19) man enough 男らしくあろうとしないでいいんだよ

筆者: 松中みどり 更新日: 2018年2月8日

 

SNSでよく目にするハッシュタグに、#MeToo があります。2017年、ハリウッドの大物映画プロデューサー、ハーヴェイ・ワインスタインのセクハラ疑惑に端を発し、セクハラや性的虐待などの被害を受けた多くの人たちが連帯と告発のために声をあげて、大きな運動になりました。今回取り上げる動画は、ひとりの男性からの賛同と自戒と連帯の感動的なスピーチです。俳優で、映像作家で、肝の据わったフェミニスト、ジャスティン・バルド-ニさんの言葉を味わって下さい。

 

 

 

ジャスティンさんはまず、ユーモラスにこれまで自分が演じてきた役を紹介します。

 

Over the course of my career, I’ve had the great honor playing some of the greatest male role models ever represented on television. 役者としてのキャリアを通じて、大変名誉なことに、テレビドラマ史上、最高の男性のロールモデルを演じてきました。

 

  • “Male Escort #1.” 男娼その1
  • “Photographer Date Rapist” デートレイプする写真家
  • “Shirtless Medical Student” 上半身裸の医学生
  • “上半身裸の筋肉バカの詐欺師”

 

ハンサムで筋肉質な外見から回ってきた役柄ですが、現在は「心を入れ替えたプレイボーイ」のRafael役が人気で、「who is only occasionally shirtless この役のときは、たまにしかシャツを脱がないんですよ」と笑わせます。

 

 

ラファエル役のときのジャスティン・バルドー二さん Pinterestより

ラファエル役のときのジャスティン・バルドー二さん Pinterestより

 

 

ハリウッドがジャスティンさんに求めるのはマッチョでカリスマ性があって、力強い男性役でした。本当の自分はそうではないと思っていたジャスティンさんはあることに気が付きます。1分41秒から動画を見て、(   )の中の単語を聴き取って下さい。

 

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  • I’ve been (   1   ) to be a man that I’m not my entire life. I’ve been(   1   ) to be strong when I ( 2 ) weak, confident when I ( 2 ) insecure and tough when really I was hurting.

 

  • 答え 1. pretending   2. felt

 

<関連サイト>

ジャスティン・バルドーニさんFacebookページ ⇒

https://www.facebook.com/justinbaldoni/

ジャスティン・バルドーニさんの仕事関係⇒

wayfarer   http://wearewayfarer.com/

man enough  http://www.wearemanenough.com/

 

 

※アイデアニュース有料会員(月額300円)限定部分では、英語全文のスクリプトと、部分ですが筆者による訳が載っています。特に、もっとも感動的な12分52秒からと、16分25秒からの部分は、聴き取りテスト付き。必聴です。また、ジャスティン・バルドーニさんの他の動画も紹介していますので、ぜひ有料ページをご利用下さい。

 

<有料会員限定部分の小見出し>

 

■『Why I’m done trying to be “man enough』 英語全文

 

■松中みどりによる試訳(聴き取りテスト付き)

 

■ジャスティン・バルドーニさんの他の動画

 

 

※ここから有料会員限定部分です。

 

■『Why I’m done trying to be “man enough』 英語全文(聴き取りテスト付き)

 

 

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00:11
As an actor, I get scripts and it’s my job to stay on script, to say my lines and bring to life a character that someone else wrote. Over the course of my career, I’ve had the great honor playing some of the greatest male role models ever represented on television. You might recognize me as “Male Escort #1.”

 

 

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00:38
“Photographer Date Rapist,” “Shirtless Date Rapist” from the award-winning “Spring Break Shark Attack.”

 

 

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00:48
“Shirtless Medical Student,” “Shirtless Steroid-Using Con Man” and, in my most well-known role, as Rafael.

 

 

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00:58
A brooding, reformed playboy who falls for, of all things, a virgin, and who is only occasionally shirtless.

 

 

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01:08
Now, these roles don’t represent the kind of man I am in my real life, but that’s what I love about acting. I get to live inside characters very different than myself. But every time I got one of these roles, I was surprised, because most of the men I play ooze machismo, charisma and power, and when I look in the mirror, that’s just not how I see myself. But it was how Hollywood saw me, and over time, I noticed a parallel between the roles I would play as a man both on-screen and off.

 

 

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01:41
I’ve been pretending to be a man that I’m not my entire life. I’ve been pretending to be strong when I felt weak, confident when I felt insecure and tough when really I was hurting. I think for the most part I’ve just been kind of putting on a show, but I’m tired of performing. And I can tell you right now that it is exhausting trying to be man enough for everyone all the time. Now — right?

 

 

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02:16
My brother heard that.

 

 

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02:18
Now, for as long as I can remember, I’ve been told the kind of man that I should grow up to be. As a boy, all I wanted was to be accepted and liked by the other boys, but that acceptance meant I had to acquire this almost disgusted view of the feminine, and since we were told that feminine is the opposite of masculine, I either had to reject embodying any of these qualities or face rejection myself. This is the script that we’ve been given. Right? Girls are weak, and boys are strong. This is what’s being subconsciously communicated to hundreds of millions of young boys and girls all over the world, just like it was with me.

 

 

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02:56
Well, I came here today to say, as a man that this is wrong, this is toxic, and it has to end.

 

 

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03:12
Now, I’m not here to give a history lesson. We likely all know how we got here, OK? But I’m just a guy that woke up after 30 years and realized that I was living in a state of conflict, conflict with who I feel I am in my core and conflict with who the world tells me as a man I should be. But I don’t have a desire to fit into the current broken definition of masculinity, because I don’t just want to be a good man. I want to be a good human. And I believe the only way that can happen is if men learn to not only embrace the qualities that we were told are feminine in ourselves but to be willing to stand up, to champion and learn from the women who embody them.

 

 

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03:57
Now, men —

 

 

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04:00
I am not saying that everything we have learned is toxic. OK? I’m not saying there’s anything inherently wrong with you or me, and men, I’m not saying we have to stop being men. But we need balance, right? We need balance, and the only way things will change is if we take a real honest look at the scripts that have been passed down to us from generation to generation and the roles that, as men, we choose to take on in our everyday lives.

 

 

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04:27
So speaking of scripts, the first script I ever got came from my dad. My dad is awesome. He’s loving, he’s kind, he’s sensitive, he’s nurturing, he’s here.

 

 

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04:48
He’s crying.

 

 

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04:52
But, sorry, Dad, as a kid I resented him for it, because I blamed him for making me soft, which wasn’t welcomed in the small town in Oregon that we had moved to. Because being soft meant that I was bullied. See, my dad wasn’t traditionally masculine, so he didn’t teach me how to use my hands. He didn’t teach me how to hunt, how to fight, you know, man stuff. Instead he taught me what he knew: that being a man was about sacrifice and doing whatever you can to take care of and provide for your family. But there was another role I learned how to play from my dad, who, I discovered, learned it from his dad, a state senator who later in life had to work nights as a janitor to support his family, and he never told a soul. That role was to suffer in secret. And now three generations later, I find myself playing that role, too. So why couldn’t my grandfather just reach out to another man and ask for help? Why does my dad to this day still think he’s got to do it all on his own? I know a man who would rather die than tell another man that they’re hurting. But it’s not because we’re just all, like, strong silent types. It’s not. A lot of us men are really good at making friends, and talking, just not about anything real.

 

 

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06:17
If it’s about work or sports or politics or women, we have no problem sharing our opinions, but if it’s about our insecurities or our struggles, our fear of failure, then it’s almost like we become paralyzed. At least, I do.

 

 

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06:37
So some of the ways that I have been practicing breaking free of this behavior are by creating experiences that force me to be vulnerable. So if there’s something I’m experiencing shame around in my life, I practice diving straight into it, no matter how scary it is — and sometimes, even publicly. Because then in doing so I take away its power, and my display of vulnerability can in some cases give other men permission to do the same.

 

 

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07:09
As an example, a little while ago I was wrestling with an issue in my life that I knew I needed to talk to my guy friends about, but I was so paralyzed by fear that they would judge me and see me as weak and I would lose my standing as a leader that I knew I had to take them out of town on a three-day guys trip —

 

 

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07:33
Just to open up. And guess what? It wasn’t until the end of the third day that I finally found the strength to talk to them about what I was going through. But when I did, something amazing happened. I realized that I wasn’t alone, because my guys had also been struggling. And as soon as I found the strength and the courage to share my shame, it was gone. Now, I’ve learned over time that if I want to practice vulnerability, then I need to build myself a system of accountability. So I’ve been really blessed as an actor. I’ve built a really wonderful fan base, really, really sweet and engaged, and so I decided to use my social platform as kind of this Trojan horse wherein I could create a daily practice of authenticity and vulnerability. The response has been incredible. It’s been affirming, it’s been heartwarming. I get tons of love and press and positive messages daily. But it’s all from a certain demographic: women.

 

 

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08:44
This is real. Why are only women following me? Where are the men?

 

 

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08:54
About a year ago, I posted this photo. Now, afterwards, I was scrolling through some of the comments, and I noticed that one of my female fans had tagged her boyfriend in the picture, and her boyfriend responded by saying, “Please stop tagging me in gay shit. Thx.”

 

 

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09:14
As if being gay makes you less of a man, right?

 

 

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09:18
So I took a deep breath, and I responded. I said, very politely, that I was just curious, because I’m on an exploration of masculinity, and I wanted to know why my love for my wife qualified as gay shit. And then I said, honestly I just wanted to learn.

 

 

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09:42
Now, he immediately wrote me back. I thought he was going to go off on me, but instead he apologized. He told me how, growing up, public displays of affection were looked down on. He told me that he was wrestling and struggling with his ego, and how much he loved his girlfriend and how thankful he was for her patience. And then a few weeks later, he messaged me again. This time he sent me a photo of him on one knee proposing.

 

 

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10:22
And all he said was, “Thank you.”

 

 

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10:25
I’ve been this guy. I get it. See, publicly, he was just playing his role, rejecting the feminine, right? But secretly he was waiting for permission to express himself, to be seen, to be heard, and all he needed was another man holding him accountable and creating a safe space for him to feel, and the transformation was instant. I loved this experience, because it showed me that transformation is possible, even over direct messages. So I wanted to figure out how I could reach more men, but of course none of them were following me.

 

 

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So I tried an experiment. I started posting more stereotypically masculine things —

 

 

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11:07
Like my challenging workouts, my meal plans, my journey to heal my body after an injury. And guess what happened? Men started to write me. And then, out of the blue, for the first time in my entire career, a male fitness magazine called me, and they said they wanted to honor me as one of their game-changers.

 

 

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11:35
Was that really game-changing? Or is it just conforming? And see, that’s the problem. It’s totally cool for men to follow me when I talk about guy stuff and I conform to gender norms. But if I talk about how much I love my wife or my daughter or my 10-day-old son, how I believe that marriage is challenging but beautiful, or how as a man I struggle with body dysmorphia, or if I promote gender equality, then only the women show up. Where are the men? So men, men, men, men!

 

 

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12:27
I understand. Growing up, we tend to challenge each other. We’ve got to be the toughest, the strongest, the bravest men that we can be. And for many of us, myself included, our identities are wrapped up in whether or not at the end of the day we feel like we’re man enough. But I’ve got a challenge for all the guys, because men love challenges.

 

 

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12:52
I challenge you to see if you can use the same qualities that you feel make you a man to go deeper into yourself. Your (  1   ), your bravery, your (  2   ): Can we redefine what those mean and use them to explore our hearts? Are you brave enough to be (  3  )? To reach out to another man when you need help? To dive (  4  ) into your shame? Are you strong enough to be (  5   ), to cry whether you are hurting or you’re happy, even if it makes you look (  6  )? Are you confident enough to listen to the women in your life? To hear their ideas and their solutions? To hold their anguish and actually believe them, even if what they’re saying is against you? And will you be man enough to stand up to other men when you hear “locker room talk,” when you hear stories of sexual harassment? When you hear your boys talking about grabbing ass or getting her(  7   ), will you actually stand up and do something so that one day we don’t have to live in a world where a woman has to risk everything and come (    8      ) to say the words “me too?”

 

 

  • 1.strength   (名)強さ
  • 2.toughness (名)タフネス
  • 3.vulnerable (形)傷つきやすい、感じやすい
  • 4.headfirst (副)まっさかさまに
  • 5.sensitive (形)敏感な
  • 6.weak (形)弱い
  • 7.drunk (形)酔っぱらった
  • 8.forward (副)前へ

 

たくさんの類語が出てきています。strength, bravery(勇敢さ),toughness vulnerable, sensitive, weak がある一定の方向を示していることに気がつきます。男性を形容する言葉と女性の特徴とされている言葉。しかし、そうでしょうかとジャスティンさんは言うのです。私訳をつけておきます。

 

  1. 男性の皆さんに挑戦します。貴方にはできますか? 男らしさの中心にあると思う素質を利用して、心の奥深くを 探ることは? みなさんがもっているはずの強さ、勇気、タフネス の意味を定義し直して、心を探るのにそれを使えるでしょうか? 自分の心のもろさを認めるだけの勇気はありますか? 他の男性に助けを求めることが出来ますか? 恥ずかしいことにも真っ直ぐ飛び込んでいけますか? 繊細でいられるだけの強さはありますか? 傷ついたときや嬉しいときに 泣けるでしょうか? 涙を流して弱々しく見えるかもしれなくても?自分の周りにいる女性の言葉に耳を傾けるだけの自信はありますか? 彼女たちの考えや解決策に耳を傾け、彼女たちの苦しみを受け止めて、心から信じることが出来ますか? たとえあなたの言動に難色を示す言葉であっても? そして「男同士の卑猥な話」や、セクハラ話を耳にしたとき、そういう男性に立ち向かえるくらい男らしくなれるでしょうか? 男友達が女性の尻をつかんだり、女性を酒に酔わせてものにしようとしたなどと聞いたら、立ち上がり、行動を起こすことができますか? いつの日か、女性がすべをかけて 「me too(私も)」と 名乗り出なくてもいい世界で生きていけるように?

 

 

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14:18
This is serious stuff. I’ve had to take a real, honest look at the ways that I’ve unconsciously been hurting the women in my life, and it’s ugly. My wife told me that I had been acting in a certain way that hurt her and not correcting it. Basically, sometimes when she would go to speak, at home or in public, I would just cut her off mid-sentence and finish her thought for her. It’s awful. The worst part was that I was completely unaware when I was doing it. It was unconscious. So here I am doing my part, trying to be a feminist, amplifying the voices of women around the world, and yet at home, I am using my louder voice to silence the woman I love the most. So I had to ask myself a tough question: am I man enough to just shut the hell up and listen?

 

 

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15:24
I’ve got to be honest. I wish that didn’t get an applause.

 

 

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15:29
Guys, this is real. And I’m just scratching the surface here, because the deeper we go, the uglier it gets, I guarantee you. I don’t have time to get into porn and violence against women or the split of domestic duties or the gender pay gap. But I believe that as men, it’s time we start to see past our privilege and recognize that we are not just part of the problem. Fellas, we are the problem. The glass ceiling exists because we put it there, and if we want to be a part of the solution, then words are no longer enough.

 

 

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16:05
There’s a quote that I love that I grew up with from the Baha’i writings. It says that “the world of humanity is possessed of two wings, the male and the female. So long as these two wings are not equivalent in strength, the bird will not fly.”

 

 

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16:25
So women, on behalf of men all over the world who feel (  1   ) to me, please forgive us for all the ways that we have not (  2   )on your strength. And now I would like to ask you to formally help us, because we cannot do this alone. We are men. We’re going to (  3  ) up. We’re going to say the wrong thing. We’re going to be tone-deaf. We’re more than (  4   ), probably, going to (   5   )you. But don’t lose hope. We’re only here because of you, and like you, as men, we need to stand up and become your(  6    ) as you fight against pretty much everything. We need your help in celebrating our vulnerability and being patient with us as we make this very, very long journey from our heads to our hearts. And finally to parents: instead of teaching our children to be brave boys or pretty girls, can we maybe just teach them how to be good humans?

 

  • 1.similar  (形)似ている、同様の
  • 2.relied (動)rely の過去形・完了形 頼る、あてにする
  • 3.mess (動)mess up  句動詞 しくじる、へまをする
  • 4.likely  (形)(副)ありそうな、おそらく、more than likely  十中八九、高い確率で
  • 5.offend (動)怒らせる、気分を害する
  • 6.allies(名)単数形はally   味方、仲間、協力者、支援者

 

 

女性に話しかける言葉です。覚えたい単語がたくさんあります。特に、この頃LGBT関連でも使われる言葉ally は、ぜひ覚えるべき単語です。私訳をつけておきます。

 

  • 女性の皆さん、私と同じ気持ちを抱いている世界中の男性に代わって言わせてください。許してください。皆さんの強さを 頼りにしてこなかった私たちを。 そして、私たち男性を助けてほしいと、正式にお願いします。男性だけでは達成できないからです。男性ですから、きっとへまをします。間違ったことを言い、訳の分からないことを言うと思います。十中八九、皆さんを 怒らせるでしょう。でも希望を捨てないでください。私たちがここに居られるのは、女性の皆さんのおかげです。そしてみなさんがそうしているように、男も、立ち上がる必要があります。みなさんが、ほとんどすべてのことに立ち向かうときに、私たちは味方でなければならないのです。我々は、自分たちのもろいところを抱きしめるために、女性のみなさんの助けが必要です。どうか男性たちが、頭から心の中へと 長い旅路をたどる間、忍耐強くいてください。最後に、保護者のみなさん、子供たちに 勇敢な男の子や 可愛い女の子であれと教える代わりに、良い人間になるにはどうしたらいいかと教えるのではいけませんか?

 

 

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17:37
So back to my dad. Growing up, yeah, like every boy, I had my fair share of issues, but now I realize that it was even thanks to his sensitivity and emotional intelligence that I am able to stand here right now talking to you in the first place. The resentment I had for my dad I now realize had nothing to do with him. It had everything to do with me and my longing to be accepted and to play a role that was never meant for me. So while my dad may have not taught me how to use my (  1  ), he did teach me how to use my (  2   ), and to me that makes him more a man than anything.

 

  • 1.hands
  • 2.heart

 

私訳です。

 

  • 父に話を戻します。私も人並みに、成長する過程で父子のあいだの問題を経験しました。しかし今わかることは、父の繊細さや 感情の豊かさのおかげで、私はここに立って、皆さんに話しが出来るのだということです。父に感じていた怒りは、父と関係がなかったのです。完全に自分の問題でした。承認されたいという欲求であり、自分に合わない役割を演じたいという欲求でした。父はこぶしの使い方を教えてくれなかった代わりに、心の使い方を教えてくれました。それこそが、何よりも父を男らしくしているのです。

 

 

 

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18:17
Thank you.

 

<筆者プロフィール>松中みどり(まつなか・みどり) フィリピン支援ボランティア/英語講師/ライター 初めて行った外国がフィリピンで、以来かの国の人々の明るさ温かさに魅せられ、様々なNGOや支援活動に関わる。1994年からは山岳先住民アエタの教育支援主催。コミュニケーションツールとしての英語を各地で教えている。動物好きの自称「ケモノバカ」。飼い猫は黒猫で親バカ度も加速中。 ⇒松中みどりさんの記事一覧はこちら

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